Middle Earth Erupts In Song
by TookMugwort
Summary: LotR meets song and one insane writer. NEW CHAPTER::Faramir has a little story to tell...'bout an evil ring
1. Blowin' In The Wind by Legolas, Gimli, a...

Disclaimer: I own nada. Hear me? NOTHING! Wait, does it count if I own the original songs on CD?  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Somewhere...not sure, probably where Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn are being Energizer bunnies. Legolas starts singing.*  
  
**To The Tune of "Blowin' in the Wind" by Peter, Paul And Mary**  
  
Legolas: How many roads must a Ranger find,  
  
Before they call him a Ranger?  
  
Aragorn: How many seas must a wood-Elf sail,  
  
Before he sleeps in the sand?  
  
Gimli: How many times must the hobbitses fly,  
  
Before they're forever banned?  
  
All: The answer, is blowin' in the wind,  
  
The answer is blowin' in the wind.  
  
Legolas: How many years must an elf exist,  
  
Before he sails over the sea?  
  
Aragorn: How many years can some races exist,  
  
Before they're allowed to be free?  
  
Gimli: How many times can a Dwarf turn his head,  
  
And pretend that he just doesn't see?  
  
All: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,  
  
The answer is blowin' in the wind.  
  
Legolas: How many times must an elf look up,  
  
Before he can see the trees?  
  
Aragorn: How many ears must one Man have,  
  
Before he can hear races cry?  
  
Gimli: How many deaths will it take till he knows,  
  
That too many people have died?  
  
All: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,  
  
The answer is blowin' in the wind.  
  
The answer is blowin' in the wind. 


	2. Uruk Hai's Blunder by Lurtz

Disclaimer: I (Took) don't own LotR or the Kingston Trio's song "Bad Man's Blunder", except on CD and my mom really owns that. Characters are a little...out of character  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*we see Lurtz in Gondor, chopping wood, chains around one foot with te chain and ball*  
  
*Faramir walks up*  
  
Faramir [spoken]: Hey, man, what ya in for?  
  
Lurtz [sung]: Welll,  
  
*Lurtz magically gets a guitar, an orc behind hims also gets one, a random goblin (also behind him) gets a banjo, they all start playing*  
  
Lurtz [sung]: Early one evenin' I was strollin' along,  
  
I was feelin' kinda mean, I shot the Steward down.  
  
Stroll along home and I went to bed,  
  
Laid my quiver up under my head.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: He strolled along home.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: I took my time.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: And he went to bed.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: Thought I'd sleep some.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: Laid his quiver.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: Full 44.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: Up under his head.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: I keep it handy.  
  
Lurtz [sung]: Early the next mornin', 'bout the break of day,  
  
I figgered it was time to make a getaway.  
  
Steppin' right along, but I was steppin' too slow,  
  
Got surrounded by the Company down in Mirkwood-o.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: He was steppin' right along.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: I were a-hot-footing it!  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: But he was steppin' too slow.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: It was a sultry day.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: Got surrounded by the Company.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: Boxed in.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: In Mirkwood-o.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: I didn't even have a chance to see the country.  
  
Lurtz [sung]: When I was arrested and I didn't have a dime,  
  
The Ranger said, "Son, you're riding free this time.  
  
Where you're goin' you won't need a cent,  
  
'Cause the great state of Gondor is gonna pay your rent."  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: 'Cause where you're going.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: I think he means jail!  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: You won't need a cent.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: Well, he knows I'm broke.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: 'Cause the great state of Gondor.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: (boringly) Yippee.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: Is gonna pay your rent.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: I'm mighty grateful, fellas.  
  
Lurtz [sung]: Well, I didn't have a key and I didn't have a file,  
  
So naturally I stayed around until my trial.  
  
The judge was a young Elf, nine hundred.  
  
And I didn't like the way the Hobbits looked at me.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: Well, the judge was a young Elf.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: Too young.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: Nine hundred.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: Entriely too old.  
  
Lurtz/Orc/Goblin [spoken]: And I/he didn't like the waaaay,  
  
The Hobbits looked at me/him.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: I think they was suspicious.  
  
Orc&Goblin [sung]: The Elf and the Hobbits, they did agree,  
  
They all said murder in the first degree.  
  
The Elf said:  
  
Goblin [sung]: Son, I don't know whether to hang ya or not,  
  
But this here killin' of future Stewards has just naturally got to stop.  
  
Orc [spoken]: You got a point there judge!  
  
Lurtz [sung]: It was a most unsatusfactory trial,  
  
They gave me ninty-nine years on the soft wood pile.  
  
Ninty and nine on the soft wood ground,  
  
And all I ever did what shoot the Steward down.  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: Ninety and nine.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: It could-da been life!  
  
Orc&Goblin [spoken]: On the soft wood ground.  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: They might've hung me!  
  
Orc&Goblin [sung]: And all he ever did, was shoot the Steward dooooo-ooooo- ooooo-oooown!  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: This whole thing has sure been a lesson to me.  
  
*musical riff*  
  
Lurtz [spoken]: Twang, you're dead. 


	3. I Just Can't Wait to Be King by Legolas

Disclaimer: As always, I do not own the following song (excpet the goofed lyrics). I don't even own The Lion King on tape or DVD, but I do own a book of sheet music for the trombone for it  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Young Legolas is learning to shoot, he gets frustrated and turns to his father*  
  
**To the tune of "I Just Can't Wait To Be King"*  
  
Legolas: I'm gonna be a mighty Elf,  
  
So Dwarvieses beware!  
  
Thranduil: Well I've never seen a king of Elves,  
  
With quite so much hair. *looks disapprovlingly at Legolas's long BLEACHED hair*  
  
Legolas: I'm gonna be the mane event,  
  
Like no Elf was before.  
  
I'm brushing up on looking good.  
  
I'm working on my hair.  
  
Thranduil: Thus far, a rather uninspiring thing. *looks again at Legolas's long, BLEACHED hair*  
  
Legolas: Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
  
*Young Haldir appears*  
  
Legolas: No one saying do this!  
  
Haldir: No one saying be there!  
  
Legolas: No one saying stop that!  
  
Haldir: No one saying see here!  
  
Thranduil: Now see here!  
  
Legolas: Free to comb my hair all day,  
  
Free to do it up my way.  
  
*Haldir disappears again*  
  
Thranduil: I think it's time that you and I,  
  
Arranged a heart to heart-  
  
Legolas: Elves don't need advice  
  
From little old Eves for a start.  
  
*Thranduil glares at Legolas, then whaps him on the head*  
  
Thranduil: If this is where the monarchy is headed,  
  
Count me out.  
  
Out of service, out of Mirkwood!  
  
I wouldn't hang about!  
  
This child is getting wildly out of wing!  
  
Legolas: Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
  
*spotlight appears and focuses on Legolas*  
  
Everybody look left!  
  
Everybody look right!  
  
Everywhere you look I'm!  
  
Standing in the spotlight!  
  
*spotlight goes off*  
  
Elves: Let every Elf-y go for broke and sing!  
  
Let's hear it in the dell and on the flet!  
  
It's gonna be King Lego's finest fling!  
  
Legolas: Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
  
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
  
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
  
*Thranduil nudges Legolas*  
  
Thranduil [spoken]: Then you're gonna be waiting a mighty long time. I'm immortal.  
  
Legolas: D'oh! 


	4. Friend Like Me by Legolas

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I've definately heard this song too many times :P  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*In Lothlorien, Gimli and Legolas are taking one of "those walks", Legolas starts singing*  
  
*Legolas is being like Genie (including the magic actions)*  
  
**To the tune of "Friend Like Me"*  
  
Well Galadriel had that old mirror,  
  
Bilbo Baggins-ie had a thousand tales,  
  
But Gimli you in luck 'cause up your sleeves,  
  
You got a brand of power never fails,  
  
You got more strength in your corner now,  
  
Some heavy bow and arrows in your camp,  
  
You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how,  
  
See all you gotta do is call to me,  
  
And I'll say  
  
Mister Gimli, friend,  
  
What will your pleasure be?  
  
Let me take your order,  
  
Jot it down,  
  
You ain't never had a friend like me,  
  
No no no!  
  
Life is your Khazad-DÃ»m,  
  
And I'm your maitre d',  
  
C'mon whisper what it is you want.  
  
You ain't never had a friend like me!  
  
Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service,  
  
You're my friend,  
  
My hombre, my mellon,  
  
Say what you wish,  
  
It's yours! True dish,  
  
How about a little more lembas cram?  
  
Have some off tree "A",  
  
Try all off tree "B",  
  
I'm in the mood to help you dude,  
  
You ain't never had a friend like me.  
  
Can your friends do this?  
  
Do your friends do that?  
  
Do your friends pull this out their little hat?  
  
Can your friends go, poof?  
  
Well, looky here,  
  
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip,  
  
And then make the sucker disappear?  
  
So doncha sit there hairy jawed, haggard eyed,  
  
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers,  
  
You got me bona fide, certified,  
  
You got an Elf for your charge d'affaires,  
  
I got a powerful urge to help you out,  
  
So what-cha wish? I really wanna know,  
  
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt,  
  
Well, all you gotta do is call like so - and oh  
  
Mister Gimli, friend, have a talk or two or three,  
  
I'm on the job, you big nabob,  
  
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,  
  
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,  
  
You ain't never had a friend like me,  
  
You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!  
  
*Gimli runs off because his "friend" has gone crazy*  
  
Legolas [spoken]: Well, that got rid of him.  
  
A/n: I know that sounded REALLY gay, but it's not. See what a fever over 100 does? 


	5. Bad Bad Celeborn by Bormir

Disclaimer: I re-discovered Jim Croce! Well, a CD anyway. Still haven't found Boromir, Sam, or Legolas. ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
*the Fellowship is standing around Boromir*  
  
Boromir [spoken]: I shall tell you all of why I am not too eager to go to Lorien.  
  
**to the tune of "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown"**  
  
Boromir [sung]: Well 'ole south side of Lothlorien  
  
Is the baddest part of town  
  
And if you go down there  
  
You better just beware  
  
Of an Elf name of Celeborn  
  
Now Cele more than trouble  
  
You see he stand about six foot four  
  
All those downtown Elvies call him "Treetop Lover"  
  
All the men just call him "Sir"  
  
And he's bad, bad Celeborn  
  
The baddest Elf in the whole danged wood  
  
Badder than a-old King Kong  
  
And meaner than a junkyard dog  
  
Now Cele he a gambler  
  
And he like his fancy clothes  
  
And he like to wear his Elvin ring  
  
In front of everybody's nose  
  
He got a custom Continental  
  
He got ab Eldorado too  
  
He got a .32 bow in his pocket for fun  
  
He got a razor in his boot  
  
And he's bad (bad) bad (bad) Celeborn  
  
The baddest Elf in the whole danged wood  
  
Badder than a-old King Kong  
  
And meaner than a junkyard dog  
  
Well Friday 'bout a week ago  
  
Cele shootin' dice  
  
And at the edge of the bar  
  
Sat a girl named Arwen  
  
And ooh that girl looked nice  
  
Well he cast his eyes upon her  
  
And the trouble soon began  
  
And Celeborn had learned a lesson 'bout a-messin'  
  
With the wife of a jealous man  
  
And he's bad (bad) bad (bad) Celeborn  
  
The baddest Elf in the whole danged wood  
  
Badder than a-old King Kong  
  
And meaner than a junkyard dog  
  
Well the two Elves took to fighting  
  
And when they pulled them from the floor  
  
Cele looked like a jigsaw puzzle  
  
With a couple of pieces gone  
  
And it's bad, bad Celeborn  
  
The baddest Elf in the whole danged wood  
  
Badder than a-old King Kong  
  
And meaner than a junkyard dog  
  
And he's bad (bad) bad (bad) Celeborn  
  
The baddest Elf in the whole danged wood  
  
Badder than a-old King Kong  
  
And meaner than a junkyard dog  
  
Yeah he was badder than a-old King Kong  
  
And meaner than a junkyard dog.  
  
Pippin [spoken]: Merry?  
  
Merry [spoken]: Yeah, Pip?  
  
Pippin [spoken]: I don't want to go to Lorien anymore.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Now I must grovel at your feet for help. I need suggestions! I'll try to find them. I have cookies and Legolas...if I ever re-capture him 


	6. Elrond The Elf, I AmandFrodo the Wonder ...

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own anything. Glad I (Took) don't own Elrond. Blame it on my mom, she taught it to me. Also, "Harvey the Wonder Hamster" is a great song for driving out other songs...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Elrond is getting married*  
  
**To the tune of "Henry the VIII, I am"*  
  
Elrond (doing a strange little dance to go with it): Elrond the Elf, I am!  
  
Elrond the Elf, I am, I am!  
  
I just got married to the Elf next door,  
  
She'd been married seven times before!  
  
Everyone was an Elrond,  
  
She'd never have a Merry or a Sam.  
  
I'm he eighth old Elf named Elrond,  
  
Elrond the Elf, I a-a-a-am!  
  
Elrond the Elf, I am, I am!  
  
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- -*--*--*--  
  
*choose a place*  
  
**to the tune of "Harvey the Wonder Hamster"**  
  
(A/n: this is dedicated to my Frodo [and Legolas] loving friend...you know who you are)  
  
Oh!  
  
Frodo, Frodo, Frodo the Wonder Hobbit!  
  
He didn't bite and he didn't squeal,  
  
He just ran around on this Moutn Doom path!  
  
Frodo, Frodo, Frodo the Wonder Hobbit!  
  
Hey Frodo! 


	7. A Call For Help

All rejoice! I have been inspired! *groans are heard from the Fellowship and collected "others"* Yep, you guessed it! THE BUS! But I can't choose which one to do:  
A) "Mack the Knife" (starring Aragorn singing)  
B) "I Fought the Law" (starring: Boromir on eletric guitar and vocal, Aragorn back on drums and back-up vocals, and Frodo [don't ask why, find a picture of the Stray Cats] on bass guitar and back-up vocals)  
C) "We Will Rock You" (starring: Pippin on trombone! He now has an F attachment! Yay! If you don't know what it is, too bad [I can play it on trombone! IT IS SOOOOOOOO COOL!], Merry, Frodo, and Sam doing the oh-so-famous stomp-stomp-clap bit, Aragorn on drums (and back-up vocals), and Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir on vocals!)  
Well, what are you waiting for? VOTE! If not, you shall be whacked with the newer, more compact Band Folder of Doom, Destruction, Death, and the Curse of "-Eth". Mwahahahahahahahaha! Well, anyway, please vote. I may have to bring my Colored Pencil Staff of Doom into this *whips golden yellow colored pencil out of pocket* 


	8. Gandalf Went Down to The Hill by Frodo

Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own them. But I gotthe escapees back! I don't own "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" either. THANX TO Oz, Queen of Frogs FOR THIS SUGGESTION!  
  
P.S. Ashlynn Philema Serothnocat II-I know Celeborn is Arwen's grandfather, but she was the first one that popped into my mind (after Elrond and we all know Celeborn's not gay)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
**Bag-End: The Hobbits (the four who journeyed on the Quest plus Bilbo), their wives, children, and Gandalf are sitting. Frodo has a fiddle**  
  
Faramir (Took): Play us a tune, Uncie Frodo! *bounces up and down*  
  
Pippin: *gives him stern look, but is smiling and bouncing as well* Yes, Frodo! Play us something!  
  
*Diamond sighs and rolls eyes*  
  
*Frodo picks up fiddle and bow*  
  
Frodo: Okay, okay, just sit still.  
  
*Frodo starts playing*  
  
Frodo: The wizard went down to The Hill  
  
He was lookin' for Hobbits to trick  
  
He was in a bind  
  
'Cause he was way behind  
  
And he was willin' to make a deal  
  
When he came upon this young man  
  
Smokin' on a long pipe and lightin' it hot  
  
And the wizard thumped  
  
Up on a green door stump  
  
And said, "Boy, let me tell you what  
  
"I guess you didn't know it  
  
but I'm a long pipe smoker too  
  
And if you care to take a dareI'll make a bet with you  
  
"Now you store a pretty good pipe-weed, boy  
  
But give the wizard his due  
  
I'll bet a good pipe of gold  
  
Against your soul  
  
'Cause I think I got better than you."  
  
The boy said, "My name's Bilbo  
  
And it might be a sin  
  
But I'll take your bet  
  
And you're gonna regret  
  
'Cause its the best there's ever been."  
  
Bilbo take out that ol' Tob' and fill your best pipe full  
  
Cause Bree's broke loose in The Hill and the wizard deals the cards  
  
And if you win you get this shiny good pipe made of gold  
  
But if you lose the devil gets your soul.  
  
The wizard opened up his case  
  
And he said, "I'll start this show."  
  
And fire flew from his fingertips  
  
As he rolled out his pipe-weed  
  
Then he pulled the flint across the steel piece  
  
And he made an evil hiss  
  
And a band of Maiar joined in  
  
And it lookÃ©d something like this  
  
*Gandalf blows some awesome smoke "rings"*  
  
When the wizard finished  
  
Bilbo said, "Well you're pretty good old man  
  
Just sit right in that chair right there  
  
And let me show you how it's done."  
  
He blew the Misty Mountains  
  
Climb Dwarves, climb  
  
The wizard's in the Inn of the Prancy Pon'  
  
Lembas in a bread pan soakin' up 'shrooms  
  
Maggot do your dogs bite  
  
No child, no  
  
*Bilbo blows smoke rings also, but (somehow, most likely by Gandalf's magic) are better than Gandalf*  
  
The wizard bowed his head  
  
Because he knew that he'd been beat  
  
And he laid that golden good pipe  
  
On the ground at Bilbo's feet  
  
Bilbo said, "Gandalf just come on back  
  
If you ever wanna try again  
  
I done told you once you son of Melkor  
  
I'm the best there's ever been."  
  
And he blew the Misty Mountain  
  
Climb Dwarves, climb  
  
The devil's in the Inn of the Prancing Pon'  
  
Lembas in a bread pan soakin' up 'shrooms  
  
Maggot do your dogs bite  
  
No child, no  
  
*both Bilbo and Gandalf blow smoke rings, forming the Misty Mountian and Smaug and little tiny Dwarves on the Mountian*  
  
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I know most of it's very incorrect, but I like it. I am also considering "Bloody Mary" from "South Pacific"--if I ever find the lyrics. I'm still taking suggestions for songs! 


	9. We Will Rock You by The Fellowship Minus...

Disclaimer: It's a miracle! I *actually* got two songs in ONE DAY! Yay! *Aragorn in background, from behind percussion set: And there was much rejoicing.  
  
All except Took: *monotone* Yay. *wave little Monty Python cartoon flags** I don't own this, only the music and a memory of the stomp-stomp-clap bit in my concert.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
**Lothlorien: Pippin has a trombone (but with an F attachment, it's kinda more tubing with a lever, it's hard to explain), Sam, Merry, and Frodo are sitting, Aragorn is standing happily behind his oh-so-famous percussion set with two drumsticks in one hand and the bass mallet in the other, and Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli are just standing infront; they don't know they're being watched**  
  
*Boromir gives a thumbs up behind his back, Pippin and Aragorn start playing*  
  
*Frodo, Merry, and Sam start doing their bit*  
  
Boromir [sung]: Sauron you're a boy  
  
Make a big smoke steaming in the street  
  
Gonna be a dark-lord someday  
  
You got blood on your face, big disgrace  
  
Losing your ring all over the place  
  
*all the Hobbits start getting into the song (i.e. throwing arms out further, bobbng heads to music, [in Pippin's case] closing eyes for some of it to make it look more Heavy Rock-ish*  
  
All [sung]{1}: Singing we will, we will rock you  
  
We will, we will rock you  
  
*Boromir nods to Legolas*  
  
*Aragorn also starts REALLY getting into his part (i.e. really punding on the snare and bass)*  
  
Legolas [sung]: Keep the speed up, why, I'm gonna turn speed up  
  
Gonna get you off the grass, gonna cool your feet down  
  
Killing you like I never killed you before  
  
Like the way I do got you screaming for more  
  
All [sung]: We causing utter devastation  
  
When we stepping to Mordor  
  
And better believe that you can see  
  
We're gonna kill and never stop  
  
And here we go again  
  
Sink you with the ring again  
  
Kick it down the second time around  
  
We'll bring it down again - shout it out  
  
We will, we will rock you  
  
We will, we will rock you  
  
We will, we will rock you  
  
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go  
  
*Legolas nods to Gimli*  
  
Gimli [sung]: Sauron, you're an old lord, poor lord  
  
Pleading with your eye  
  
Gonna overthrow you someday  
  
You got mud on your face, big disgrace  
  
Somebody better put you back in your place  
  
All [sung]: Singing we will, we will rock you  
  
We will, we will rock you  
  
We will, we will rock you  
  
*clapping is heard in background*  
  
*Fellowship whirl around to see...ALL OF LOTHLORIEN*  
  
Haldir [spoken]: Wonderful! Wonderful! Again.  
  
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Amazing little piece, I know *smile*. I'm looking for a good Elton John to do. I'm thinking.."Rocket Man".  
  
{1} "All" means every Fellowship member present but Pippin (can't sing and play, trust me, I know) 


	10. Ranger Man I Think It's Going To Be A Lo...

Disclaimer: This is just a great song! I was listening to it on the bus, and it reminded me of Aragorn alot. So..here goes: "Ranger Man (I Think It's Going To Be a Long, Long Time)"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
**Rivendell, Aragron and Arwen are talking when Aragorn breaks out in song**  
  
Aragorn [sung]:You packed my bag last night pre-trip  
  
Zero hour nine AM  
  
And I'm gonna be far as a Elf by then  
  
I miss Riv'dell so much I miss my gal  
  
It's lonely out in Wild  
  
On such a timeless walk  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
Till touch down brings me round again to find  
  
I'm not the man they think I am at 'Dell  
  
Oh no no no I'm a Ranger man  
  
Ranger man wearing up the trail out here alone  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
Till touch down brings me round again to find  
  
I'm not the man they think I am at 'Dell  
  
Oh no no no I'm a Ranger man  
  
Ranger man wearing up the trail out here alone  
  
Bree ain't the kind of place to raise your kids  
  
In fact it's cold as 'Dor  
  
And there's no one there to raise them if you did  
  
And all this searching I don't understand  
  
It's just my job five days a week  
  
A Ranger man, a Ranger man  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
Till touch down brings me round again to find  
  
I'm not the man they think I am at 'Dell  
  
Oh no no no I'm a Ranger man  
  
Ranger man wearing up the trail out here alone  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
  
(A/n: yes, that IS how many times he sings it, I checked)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
Yes! Hail Brian---I mean, Jeebus (you'll get it if you've seen Monty Python's "Life of Brian")! Today is a good day ^_^. I got my LotR figures and was able to write a song. Maybe I'll find even more *screams and groans are heard from behind* 


	11. Bloody Éowyn by The Riders of Rohan

Disclaimer: Same as always. I'm still taking suggestions/requests! Ã‰owyn is pronounced as my mom (the one we all turn to for LotR knowledge), Ah-WIN  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
**in the fields of Rohan; all the Riders (except Ã‰omer) are assembled and, for some reason, singing (ooh, ahh, so amazing)**  
  
Riders [sung]: Bloody Ã‰owyn is the lass I love,  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn is the lass I love,  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn is the lass I love-  
  
Now ain't that too dang bad!  
  
Her head is as hard as ThÃ©oden's 'met  
  
Her head is as hard as ThÃ©oden's 'met  
  
Her head is as hard as ThÃ©oden's 'met  
  
Now ain't that too dang bad!  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn's chewing Uruk guts,  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn's chewing Uruk guts,  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn's chewing Uruk guts,  
  
And she don't use Pepsodent.  
  
Now ain't that too dang bad!  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn is the lass I love,  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn is the lass I love,  
  
Bloody Ã‰owyn is the lass I love-  
  
Now ain't that too dang bad!  
  
*BIG, BIG musical interlude in which you can just imagine a HUGE dance number*  
  
Now. Ain't. That. Too. Dang. Bad!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
Sorry if I really grossed anyone out with the Uruk guts, but I have a funny story about it. The first few times I heard the song I thought they were saying "Bloody Mary's chewin' bettle guts." I told that to my mom and she started laughing SO hard. Then she corrected me, but I still sing it "bettle guts" instead of "betel nuts". 


	12. Sam The Loyal Hobbit by Tolman Gamgee

Disclaimer: Still inspired. Odd. Well, here we go: "Sam (The Loyal Hobbit)"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Some Hobbit hole, a very old Hobbit is sitting with four very little Hobbits are sitting at his feet*  
  
Child #1 [spoken]: Tell us a story, Uncle Tom!  
  
Child #2 [spoken]: Yeah! One about great-great-grandad!  
  
*a Hobbit in the prime of life leans against the wall and looks at the Hobbits*  
  
Hobbit [spoken]: Tolman, tell them it. then they must get to bed.  
  
*Another Hobbit, about the same age, shows up in the door frame. The first one, his wife, beckons him to pull up a chair. They both do just as Tolman begins speaking*  
  
Tolman (yes, Gamgee) [spoken]: Hmm...yes, that story. Well, I will, but only if you promise to go to bed right after.  
  
Children [spoken]: We will! We will!  
  
**to the tune of "Puff (The Magic Dragon)" by Peter, Paul And Mary**  
  
Tolman [sung]: Sam, the loyal hobbit, lived in Bag-End,  
  
And frolicked in the lucious fields in a land called The Shire.  
  
Little Rosie Cotton loved that rascal Sam,  
  
And brought him peas and lima beans and other yummy stuffs.  
  
Oh! Sam the Loyal Hobbit, lived in Bag-End,  
  
And frolicked in the lucious fields in a land called The Shire.  
  
Sam the Loyal Hobbit, lived in Bag-End,  
  
And frolicked in the lucious fields in a land called The Shire.  
  
Together they would travel, on a road with billowed cloaks,  
  
Sammy kept a tight arm perched on Rose' shoulder.  
  
Noble mayors and thains would bow when ere they came,  
  
Priate kids would lower their swords when Sam roared out their name.  
  
Oh! Sam the Loyal Hobbit, lived in Bag-End,  
  
And frolicked in the lucious fields in a land called The Shire.  
  
Sam the Loyal Hobbit, lived in Bag-End,  
  
And frolicked in the lucious fields in a land called The Shire.  
  
A true love lives forever, but not so little whims.  
  
Painted love and Gaffer's rings make way for other toys.  
  
One gay* night it happen, Rosie Cotton came and stayed,  
  
And Sam, that loyal Hobbit, let out his feared roars.  
  
His head was held high in joy, petals fell like rain,  
  
Sam no longer had to live along the Bagshot Row.  
  
With his life-long wife, Sam could be very brave,  
  
So Sam, that loyal Hobbit, happily slipped in his hole.  
  
Oh! Sam the Loyal Hobbit, lived in Bag-End,  
  
And frolicked in the lucious fields in a land called The Shire.  
  
Sam the Loyal Hobbit, lived in Bag-End,  
  
And frolicked in the lucious fields in a land called The Shire.  
  
*Tolman and the other Hobbits pick up the sleeping little ones and take them to bed*  
  
Father [spoken]: Is that story true?  
  
Tolman [spoken]: Most of it. Not all. Goldilocks wrote it after she married that Faramir Took. 


	13. You Ain't Much Fun by Aragorn

Disclaimer: ::whallops head on wall:: I FORGOT SOME TOBY KEITH! Arrrrrg! Well, here's some Toby Keith for ya-all (requested by Mugwort and Carolyn). I don't own it, sadly. I'll ty to get some Beatles next. THIS IS NOT FOR ARWEN FANS, but good for Aragorn fans ^o^  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*the Fellowship is sitting around a came fire*  
  
Pippin: *yawns* Legolas, sing us a song.  
  
Legolas: I can't think of any. u.u  
  
All: *gasp* O.O  
  
Aragorn: I'll sing! I wrote it for Arwen. ^o^  
  
Merry: -.- fine, fine  
  
**to the tune of "You Ain't Much Fun" by Toby Keith**  
  
Aragorn [sung]: I used to come home late, not a minute too soon  
  
Barkin' like a warg, howlin' at the moon  
  
You'd be mad as an ol' wet hen,  
  
Up all night a-wonderin' where I been  
  
I'd fall down and say, "Come help me honey!"  
  
You laughed outloud, I guess you thought it was funny  
  
I finished up, and I got to thinkin'  
  
Girl, you ain't much fun since I quit questin'  
  
Now I'm paintin' our room and I'm mendin' the fence  
  
I guess I left 'Dell and lost all my good sense  
  
Too much work is hard for your health  
  
I could've died questin', now I'm killin' myself  
  
Now I'm feedin' the draug, sackin' the trash  
  
It's honey do this, honey do that  
  
I finished up, and I got to thinkin'  
  
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit questin'  
  
Now I'm clippin' the horse and I'm cuttin' the grass  
  
You made me a list and I'm bustin' my...well  
  
All broke down, tail's been draggin'  
  
It's a tough ol' life up here on the wagon  
  
Now I'm feedin' the draug, sackin' the trash  
  
It's honey do this, honey do that  
  
I finished up, and I got to thinkin'  
  
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit questin'  
  
Yeah, I finished up, and I got to thinkin'  
  
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit questin'  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
I was inspired at the all-county band concert to make a few songs ^o^. I'm thinkin' "Hey Jude" for the Beatles. Gotta find the lyrics. 


	14. Hey, Pip by Beregrond

Disclaimer: I WANT THE BEATLES! I WANT LOTR! I WILL GET THEM ONE DAY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA..ahem, I'm fine. I don't know why, but this song has always reminded me of Pippin  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Pippin is sititng with Beregrond, being scared for some reason (ooh! Lookie Mordor storm clouds!)*  
  
Beregrond: Peregrin, I shall sing you a song. You seem troubled. You tremble as a leaf in the wind.  
  
**to the tune of "Hey Jude" by the Beatles (John Lennon and Paul McCarteny I believe)  
  
Beregrond [sung]: Hey, Pip, don't make it bad  
  
Take a sad song and make it better  
  
Remember to let 'em outta your heart  
  
Then you can start to make it better  
  
Hey, Pip, don't be afraid  
  
You were made to go out and get 'em  
  
The minute you let 'em outta your skin  
  
Then you begin to make it better.  
  
And any time you feel the pain, hey, Pip, refrain  
  
Don't carry Gondor upon your shoulders  
  
Well don't you know that its a Orc who plays it cool  
  
By making his world a little darker  
  
Hey, Pip! Don't let him {1} down  
  
You have found 'em, now go and get 'em  
  
Remember, to let him into your heart  
  
Then you can start to make him better.  
  
So let ;em out and let him in, hey, Pip, begin  
  
You're waiting for something worth fightin' for  
  
Don't you know that it's not just you, hey, Pip,  
  
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder  
  
Hey, Pip, don't make it bad  
  
Take a sad song and make it better  
  
Remember to let him into your heart  
  
Then you can start to make it better  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
{1} 'him' refers to Denethor. ''em' refers to the Modorians.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
probably not my best ever but it's good. Or so I think. Now..I need ideas. Cookies for all reveiwers ^o^ 


	15. The Elanor of Gondor by Aragorn

Disclaimer: Ain't it amazing? I finnaly got a Civil War song in here! This has always been one of my favorites! This was made from the original lyrics. Enjoy ^o^ And, no, I STILL don't own LotR or The Yellow Rose of Texas  
  
P.S. Catreen Dragonsword: I'm working on the "One Tin Soldier" song  
  
P.P.S. this may turn out to be a VERY redneck song...it comes from being a redneck (stupid sun, grrrrrr) so don't kill me V.V  
  
P.P.P.S. This is set somewhere in RotK..don't ask about how Aragorn knows about Rosie and Estella...during the war  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Aragorn is walking through Gondor, alone. He starts singing, looking near tears*  
  
**to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas" by unknown**  
  
There's an Elanor in Riv'dell  
  
That I am going to see.  
  
No other ranger knows her --  
  
No ranger, only me.  
  
She cried so when I left her,  
  
It like to broke my heart,  
  
And if I ever find her,  
  
We never more shall part.  
  
She's the sweetest Elf of 'Dell  
  
This ranger ever knew.  
  
Her eyes are bright as fair stars,  
  
They sparkle like the moon.  
  
You may talk about your dearest Rose  
  
And sing of Estella,  
  
But the Elanor of Gondor  
  
Beats the belles of LÃ³rien.  
  
Where the River Anduin is flowing  
  
And the starry skies are bright,  
  
She walks along the river  
  
In the quiet summer night.  
  
She thinks, if I remember,  
  
When we parted long ago,  
  
I promised to come back again  
  
And not to leave her so.  
  
She's the sweetest Elf of 'Dell  
  
This ranger ever knew.  
  
Her eyes are bright as fair stars,  
  
They sparkle like the moon.  
  
You may talk about your dearest Rose  
  
And sing of Estella,  
  
But the Elanor of Gondor  
  
Beats the belles of LÃ³rien.  
  
Oh, now I'm going to find her,  
  
For my heart is full of woe,  
  
And we'll sing that song together  
  
That we sang so long ago.  
  
They'll play the trumpets gaily,  
  
And we'll hear the songs of yore,  
  
And the Elanor of Gondor  
  
Shall be mine forever more.  
  
She's the sweetest Elf of 'Dell  
  
This ranger ever knew.  
  
Her eyes are bright as fair stars,  
  
They sparkle like the moon.  
  
You may talk about your dearest Rose  
  
And sing of Estella,  
  
But the Elanor of Gondor  
  
Beats the belles of LÃ³rien.  
  
Oh, now I'm headed northward,  
  
For my heart is full of woe.  
  
I'm going back to Riv'dell  
  
To find my Lord Elrond.  
  
You may talk about your Beregrond  
  
And sing of Faramir,  
  
But the gallant Guard of Tower,  
  
He beat 'Dor in Pelennor!  
  
She's the sweetest Elf of 'Dell  
  
This ranger ever knew.  
  
Her eyes are bright as fair stars,  
  
They sparkle like the moon.  
  
You may talk about your dearest Rose  
  
And sing of Estella,  
  
But the Elanor of Gondor  
  
Beats the belles of LÃ³rien. ------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------  
  
Squeeeeee! I'm already working on TWO more! "One Tin Soldier" and "Sharp Dressed Man". Enjoy this! 


	16. Sharp Dressed Man by pick and choose o

Disclaimer: Mwahahahaha! For ALL those fangirls out there! Requested by Carolyn (THE fangirl...she's almost scary. ACK! ::dodges math book...and science book...and reading book::). Enjoy ^_^!  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
*no where really...pick and choose!*  
**to the tune of "Sharp Dressed Man"**  
[instert name] [sung]: Old cloak, new shoes  
And I don't know where I'm headin' to.  
No suit, death tie,  
I don't need a reason why.  
They come runnin' just as fast as they can  
'Coz every fan's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.  
  
Leaf latch, Sauron's ring,  
I ain't missin' not a single thing.  
Steel links, sword pin,  
When I step out I'm gonna do you in.  
They come runnin' just as fast as they can  
'Coz every fan's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.  
  
Ripped coat, no hat,  
And I don't worry coz my fortune's fat.  
Black Wraiths, dark gloom,  
Lookin' messed, lookin' for doom.  
They come runnin' just as fast as they can  
'Coz every fan's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Like it? Love it? Want some more of it? (yes, I do have the radio on) REVEIW! I WILL fill msot requests. The reveiw button is your friend ^o~! 


	17. Just What I Do by Bilbo

Disclaimer: This was made as ransom. My dear, dear, sweet, little, lovable pencil! ::hugs mechanical pencil, coughs and hides pencil behand back:: for all those near-fangirl-less guys IMO  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*The Hall of Fire in Rivendell*  
  
Bilbo: Well, Frodo, m'boy, I wrote another song. If the Dunadan would be so good as to listen, we'll begin.  
  
**to the tune of "Just What I Do" by Trick Pony**  
  
Bilbo [sung]: Celeborn was a rulin' Elf,  
  
He was always makin' some laws.  
  
One law signed from both his hands,  
  
Fastest you ever saw.  
  
Did he do it for the power,  
  
Or was it for the fame?  
  
Finally somebody asked him,  
  
Cele, why you wanna make them laws?  
  
And Cele said:  
  
It's just what I do when I can't get no lovin'.  
  
It's just what I do when I can't get no lovin'.  
  
I'm the highest Elf-lord you ever saw,  
  
'Cause lately I ain't gettin' no lovin' at all.  
  
It's just what I do.  
  
It's just what I do.  
  
Well Gimli Dwarf,  
  
Set his sights,  
  
Way down in the ground.  
  
Him and Lego worked day and night;  
  
He didn't seem to care.  
  
Well the tree-folk said if you were meant to dig,  
  
Eru would have made you claws.  
  
What makes you want to spend all of your time,  
  
Digging those Glittering Caves?  
  
And Gimli said:  
  
It's just what I do when I can't get no lovin'.  
  
It's just what I do when I can't get no lovin'.  
  
I'm the first gold guy you ever saw.  
  
'Cause lately I ain't gettin' no lovin' at all!  
  
It's just what I do,  
  
It's just what I do,  
  
Ooh yeah!  
  
Well Saruman cre'ted them Uruks.  
  
There was terror in every one.  
  
When asked about his motivation,  
  
He said, "I think it's about time you should know,  
  
It's just what I do when I can't get no lovin'.  
  
It's just what I do when I can't get no lovin'.  
  
I'm the workin'est father that you ever saw,  
  
'Cause lately I ain't gettin' no loven' at all.  
  
It's just what I do.  
  
It's just what I do.  
  
It's just what I do.  
  
It's just what I do when I can't get no lovin'!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
Yes, Gimli does have atleast ONE fangirl. Amazing, I know. Oh, yeah, and my mental Celeborn (not the movie one) does have one also...same person. I WILL NOT CONTINUE WITHOUT REVEIWS!! I would like to get over the 20 mark. The review button is your friend ^_^;; 


	18. One Rohirrim by Èowyn

Disclaimer: I would like to own this all. Currently I only have my infected ear and a few other things. I do not own Boromir II (son of Faramir and Ãˆowyn). My crazy, Faramir (one of the many) obsessed friend (the one who's in league with me in our plot to kill certain...characters) owns him. This one's for Catreen Dragonsword.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Faramir, Ãˆowyn, and Boromir II (a five-year-old boy with Faramir's red- blonde hair and Ãˆowyn's blue eyes) are sitting near a fire (Boromir II is sitting on Faramir's lap)*  
  
Boromir II [spoken]: Mummy?  
  
Ãˆowyn [spkoen]: Yes, young one?  
  
Boromir II [spoken]: Sing me a story.  
  
*Faramir looks confused*  
  
Faramir [spoken]: Can you, Ãˆowyn love?  
  
Ãˆowyn [spoken]: Indeed I can.  
  
*Boromir II bounces happily, clapping his hands as Ãˆowyn begins*  
  
**to the tune of "One Tin Soldier (The Legend of Billy Jack)" by Lambert- Potter**  
  
Ãˆowyn [sung]: Listen, my child, to a story  
  
That was written long ago,  
  
'Bout a kingdom near a mount' ring  
  
'Bout the horse-raisers below.  
  
In the mount' ring was a tower  
  
Builded deep in the valley,  
  
And the horse-raisers swore  
  
They'd have it for their very own.  
  
Go ahead and hate your neighbor,  
  
Go ahead and cheat your friend.  
  
Do it in the name of Arda,  
  
You can justify it in the end.  
  
There won't be any trumpets blowing  
  
Come that judgement day,  
  
On the bloody morning after....  
  
One Rohirrim rides away.  
  
So the lord of the horse-people  
  
Sent a message to that man,  
  
Asking for the burnÃ¨d tower,  
  
Tons of stone for which they'd kill.  
  
Came an answer from the tower,  
  
"With my subjects I will share  
  
All the terrors of my tower,  
  
All the Uruk living there."  
  
Go ahead and hate your neighbor,  
  
Go ahead and cheat your friend.  
  
Do it in the name of Arda,  
  
You can justify it in the end.  
  
There won't be any trumpets blowing  
  
Come that judgement day,  
  
On the bloody morning after....  
  
One Rohirrim rides away.  
  
Now the horse-lord cried with anger,  
  
"Mount your horses! Draw your sword!"  
  
And they killed the Uruk 'n' Orcs,  
  
But they found their just reward.  
  
Now they stood within Isengard,  
  
In the valley, soaked and recked,  
  
Turned the stone and looked beneath it...  
  
"Peace on Earth" was all it said.  
  
Go ahead and hate your neighbor,  
  
Go ahead and cheat your friend.  
  
Do it in the name of Arda,  
  
You can justify it in the end.  
  
There won't be any trumpets blowing  
  
Come that judgement day,  
  
On the bloody morning after....  
  
One Rohirrim rides away.  
  
Go ahead and hate your neighbor,  
  
Go ahead and cheat your friend.  
  
Do it in the name of Arda,  
  
You can justify it in the end.  
  
There won't be any trumpets blowing  
  
Come that judgement day,  
  
On the bloody morning after....  
  
One Rohirrim rides away.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
There we goeses! I need ideas again. I'm trying to work with a Bing Crosby and "lounge lizard" song right now, but it should come out. Reveiw and you get cookies! 


	19. Who's Your Daddy by Aragorn

DISCLAIMER: I am alive!!!!!!! Anyway, I own nothing. I don't own Toby Keith, "Who's Your Daddy?", or anything else. Well, I think I own Aragorn's insanity and the ginger ale I just spilled. What is it with Toby Keith and Aragorn? I will start filling any request possible!  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
::Aragorn is sitting at a desk with paper scattered everywhere. Arwen is walking around outside the door, waiting for the King of Gondor to finish figuring   
out how many horses Rohan has; Aragorn suddenly stops writing and whistles; He immeadately gets a black Fender acoustic (gotta love Toby Keith's   
Fender) and the Fellowship (minus Gimli, he's working over-time rebuilding Moria) appears. Legolas has a red electric guitar, Gandalf has an electric bass,  
Merry is sitting behind a pedal steel, Pippin is sitting behind a drum set, Frodo is holding an acoustic guitar, and Sam is sitting behind a piano. They are  
all wearing jeans/shorts, T-shirts, and Legolas and Aragorn have cowboy hats on (Aragorn's is black, Legolas' is white) They start playing "Who's Your   
Daddy?" when Arwen walks in::  
**to the tune of "Who's Your Daddy?" by Toby Keith**  
Aragorn [sung]: Yeah, here ya come knockin' on my door Arwen,  
Tell what you've got on your mind.  
I guess those college elves all went over the Sea-ea-ea.  
Yeah, you're lookin' right, lookion' good, lookin' like an Elfie should,  
*snickers are heard from Merry and Pippin, earning a quick glare from Aragorn*  
Aragorn [sung]: So why's it so hard to find,  
A place to lay your pretty little head down once in a while.  
You run a little tough luck baby.  
Huh, don't you sweat it.  
Everything is waitin' inside for you.  
You know I've got, come and get it!  
*Aragorn tips the hat forward, earning snickers from certain members of the "band"*  
Everyone [sung]: Who's your daddy? Who's your baby?  
Who's your buddy, who's your friend?  
Aragorn [sung]: And who's the one guy that you come runnin' to,  
Everyone [sung]: Hey, when your love life starts tumblin'.  
I've got the Kingship, if you've got the la-ands  
*Merry and Pippin burst out laughing, but still manage to play*  
Everyone [sung]: Let's cut a deal, let's make a plan.  
Who's your daddy, who's your baby, who's your buddy, who's your man?  
Merry (whispered to Frodo, who is beside him): Is Aragorn a man?  
*Frodo and Merry start laughing, earning a glare from Arwen*  
Aragorn (thoroughly annoyed now) [sung]: You might've run on a little tough luck, baby,  
Don't you sweat it.  
Everything is waitin' in side for you,  
You know I've got it!  
So come and get it!  
Everyone [sung]: Who's your daddy? Who's your baby?  
Who's your buddy, yeah, who's your friend?  
Aragorn [sung]: And who's the one guy that you come runnin' to,  
Everyone [sung]: Hey, when your love life starts tumblin'.  
I've got the Kingship, if you've got the la-ands  
*Merry and Pippin burst out laughing and just barely manage to keep playing*  
Everyone [sung]: Let's cut a deal, let's make a plan.  
Who's your daddy, who's your baby, who's your buddy,  
Aragorn [sung]: Who's your man?  
Pippin (whispered to Sam): Elrond's her daddy, her daughter is her baby, and I don't know who her buddy is. Aragorn's probably her man.  
*Sam and Pippin both start laughing*  
Who's your daddy, who's your baby? Who's your buddy?  
Who's your man?  
*Arwen claps politely as Aragorn takes off his hat and turns around to face four very guilty, red-faced hobbits*  
Aragorn: What were you saying during the song?  
Pippin: Um, well,  
Merry: We were just commenting on...  
Frodo: How nicely you sung that!  
Sam: And how well we played!  
Aragorn: Good, good. I thought it had something to do with me and the song.  
*they all shake their heads*  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
WHOO! Well, request away, peoples. I will fill as many requests as possible! 


	20. That Elf Girl Thinks I'm Sexy by Boromir

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kenny Chesney, Boromir, Galadriel, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy", or anything else besides Galadriel's liking Boromir *snicker, snicker*. Had to up the rating for this one (bad, bad Galadriel)  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
::Boromir is half-asleep on his couch thingy in Lorien when Galadriel appears; he pretends to be asleep and, for some unknown reason, Galadriel thinks he  
is; Boromir remembers what happened all that day and Legolas swings (yes, swings, as in on a vine or branch or whatever swing type things they have in  
Lorien) in (get the buckets out and blame Mr. Chesney and his video for the original song) a tanktop, tight jeans, boots, and a white cowboy hat. Several   
elves appear behind him with various instruments. Legolas taps Galadriel on the shoulder::  
Legolas: Sing, girl, sing!  
**to the tune of "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney**  
Galadriel [sung]: Comin' down the road from Moria,  
Out in the cloud, Valar, here he comes,  
With a cloak trimmed with fur and a big ol' sheild, deep red.  
My guards meet 'em at edge and then they pass.  
Open my doors, make a few beds--  
::Boromir has woken up and he decides to jump in on the song while standing beside the couch...bed...thingy::  
Boromir [sung]: Just look at her face, she ain't a-foolin' me!  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy!  
I really turned her on.  
She's always starin' at me,  
While's I'm walkin' along.  
She likes the way I'm lookin' while I'm polishin' my sword,  
She's ever kinda crazy 'bout my battle scar.  
I'm the only one who really gets her,  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy.  
Galadriel [sung]: He runs away from me 'til the sun goes down,  
Runs to the feast for a bite to eat,  
Sit down in a chair and eat that Lorien food.  
I caught like a dream, will you ask what it is?  
I want a certain Steward and a whole bunch of kids,  
And--  
Boromir [sung]: One more teeny weeny look before I move on.  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy!  
I really turned her on.  
She's always starin' at me,  
While's I'm walkin' along.  
She likes the way I'm lookin' while I'm polishin' my sword,  
She's ever kinda crazy 'bout my battle scar.  
I'm the only one who really gets her,  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy.  
Well, she has a husband and maybe a chi-ildren,  
But when she looks at me, man her eyes light up!  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy!  
I really turned her on.  
She's always starin' at me,  
While's I'm walkin' along.  
She likes the way I'm lookin' while I'm polishin' my sword,  
She's ever kinda crazy 'bout my battle scar.  
I'm the only one who really gets her,  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy.  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy.  
That Elf girl thinks I'm sexy.  
::Legolas snickers evilly when Boromir and Galadriel suddenly realize a certain blonde-haired Elf has been writing this down::  
Galadriel: If you tell Celeborn, your head will be on a plate,  
Boromir: Your arms and legs in fire,  
Both: And your liver on my plate!  
::Legolas pales and then quickly takes out a matches and burns the paper::  
Legolas: See? Gone now.  
::Legolas bolts off leaving five very confused Elf guards, one angry queen, and one angry, but freaked out Gondorian::  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Now that's gonna be stuck in my head all day! Anyway, review and request...if you dare MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--ahem... 


	21. Frodo's Story by Aragorn

DISCLAIMER: Does it look like I own "Mack the Knife", Brian Setzer, his orchrestra, or the fellowship? NO! I only own Elrond singing this little parody.  
WARNING: this may be REALLY stupid  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
::Aragorn comes running in with Frodo after the whole stabbing scene. Elrond, who was sitting at his desk mixing herbs (why? I have no clue! He just was  
); Aragorn throws Frodo on a bed and a guitar magically appears on Elrond's desk. Several Elves appear with a trombone, trumpet, flute, clarinet, bass   
guitar, drums, and a tuba (don't ask, just don't ask).::  
Elrond (while strapping on the guitar): How'd this happen, Aragorn?  
Aragorn: Well, it's a bit strange, but there was this Ringwraith and he had this real pointy sword and he poked Frodo with it and--  
Elrond: I shouldn't have even asked.  
Elf With Flute (EWF): Lord Elrond, sir, maybe he could try to sing.  
Elf With Trumpet (EWT): Yeah. I think we know a song that he might be able to tell us through.  
Elrond: Fine, fine. Aragorn, go ahead.  
*a microphone magically appears in front of Aragorn; the elves and Elrond start playing*  
**to the tune of "Mack the Knife" by the Brian Setzer Orchrestra**  
Aragorn [sung]: Oh, the Dead King had a sharp sword,  
And it shined a pearly blue.  
And a dagger had that old king.  
And he kept it, out of sight.  
  
And when the Wraiths stabs, with that sword, Lord,  
Bloody wounds will start to form.  
Black robes, though, wears that ol' King,  
So there's never, no never a trace of red!  
  
On that hilltop, afternoon,  
Don't ya know  
Was this hobbit, just invisible  
But that Ringwraith saw right to him,  
And he stabbed him, yeah he stabbed him that knife.  
  
Then that hobbit, took his ring off of that finger,  
Don't ya know,  
And there's a big ol' wound, just a-bleedin' on down.  
But the blood's just a distraction,  
Bet ya there's some blade, stuck in his bod'.  
  
Samwise Gamgee came to his side,  
And he called out, "Strider, Stride'!"  
And I rushed over to the dyin' Hob',  
And cried, "Does it hurt, Frodo?"  
  
Samwise Gamgee, Merry Brandybuck  
Pippin Took, and a green hobbit  
Oh the line forms behind me.  
Now that Frodo's fadin' fast.  
*the Elves top playing and the microphone diappears; everyone is thoroughly freaked out*  
Elrond: Well, that was...um...interesting. I'll get to healing this poor hobbit at once.  
*the elves with instruments run out of the room and Aragorn leaves soon after; several minutes later Sam rushes in*  
Sam: Is he alright, Mr. Elrond, sir? Are you alright?  
Elrond: I don't know. I just had the biggest scare of my life. Worse than Elrohir and Elladan's little switch-a-roo last week.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Wow. I just scared myself with that. Anyway, I think I might try "How Do You Like Me Now?!" or "T-R-O-U-B-L-E" ("H-O-B-B-I-T-S" maybe?). Anyway, request and review please. 


	22. How Do You Like It Now? by Boromir

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Toby Keith, his black Fender (wish I did though, that thing is LOVELY), "How Do You Like Me Now?!", or anything else here.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
::The Fellowship is boating down the river when Boromir breaks out in song for no reason at all; the elves that always appear appear and musically   
accompany Boromir::  
**to the tune of "How Do You Like Me Now?!" by Toby Keith**  
Boromir [sung]: He was always the crazy one,  
He broke into Gollum's cave,  
And he played the riddles in the dark.  
Yeah, he was the perfect one,  
And a good li'l hobbit's son,  
In that ol' will, he wrote, "Take my ol' ring."  
  
He only wanted to get Frodo's love,  
But he was overlooked somehow.  
Besides, he had too many evil rings to mention,  
And so Frodo got that evil one at last.  
  
How do you like It now?  
How do you like It now,  
Now that it's on It's way?  
You still think It's possessed,  
Burning up this way?  
You could make it goo-ood,  
But you always dreamed about,  
Living a life free of It,  
How do you like It now?  
  
When he took off to Rivendell,  
It heard that you were livin' there,  
It never imagined it'd see you again.  
Then this council, it decided that,  
It must cast from whence It came,  
They It's dreams and they tore them apart.  
  
Now It never come to you,  
And It's always alone,  
And Frodo hears it call in the night.  
Earses start ringin',  
Who could that be callin',  
It's It, Bilbo, with your callin' call,  
  
"How do you like me now?  
How do you like me now,  
Now that I'm on my way?  
You still think I'm possessed,  
Burning up this way?  
You could make it goo-ood,  
But you always dreamed about,  
Living a life free of me,  
How do you like me now?  
  
Tell me, Bilbo!  
I will reach you!"  
*the Fellowship looks back (or forward) at Boromir, who has suddenly gotten a cowboy (one really cool half-black, half-white like the one that Hank WIlliams  
Jr. has); the Elves disappear and Boromir's hat does also*  
Frodo (to Aragorn): Strider, he scares me.  
Aragorn: He frightens us all, Frodo.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
hehehehehehehehe! Well, that was insteresting, was it now? Hopw you enjoyed this. If you did, then maybe you should suggest more songs (*wink, wink*) 


	23. It's A Great Day To Be An Elf by Aragorn...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Travis Tritt, the Elves, Aragorn, Elrond, "It's A Great Day To Be Alive", or much of anything else. I only own this version of the lyrics and the shadows that fill Celeborn's bed. This and another song came to me while watching the extended LotR.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
::The Fellowship is in Lothlorien. Aragorn and Legolas are no where to be seen. Suddenly, a voice starts singing and splashing is heard::  
**to the tune of "It's A Great Day To Be Alive" by Travis Tritt**  
Aragorn [sung]: I've got lembas cookin' in the fire's wave,  
I've got three-day beard, I don't plan to shave,  
And it's a goofy thing, but I've just got to say,  
Hey, I'm cleanin' myself.  
*the remaining Fellowship members exchange odd looks*  
Legolas [sung]: Yeah, I think I'll clean my hair with some Elf shampoo,  
Feels pretty good and that's the truth,  
It's neither drink nor drug induced,  
Naw, I'm just cleain' alright.  
Elves (yes, all of them) [sung]: And it's a great day to be an Elf,  
I know my hair's still shinin' when I clothe myself,  
There's some bad trees in my neighbor's wood,  
But why can't tree be just this good?  
*Elrond appears on the flet with a little, twevle-string, black mandolin, which he is playing*  
Elrond [sung]: It's been fifteen years since I left home,  
I said "Good luck" to every Elf I'd sown,  
Gave them my best and then I left them alone.  
Man, I hope they're doin' alright.  
*Aragorn appears with an electric guitar and a little wireless sender/reciever for it, looking oddly clean*  
Aragorn [sung]: Now I look in the my room and what do I see?  
Arwen there starin' back at me,  
Dressed in my robe, but harmless as can be,  
Lord, I guess she's doin' alright.  
Elves [sung]: And it's a great day to be an Elf,  
I know my hair's still shinin' when I clothe myself,  
There's some bad trees in my neighbor's wood,  
But why can't tree be just this good?  
*Celeborn appears with an acoustic bass guitar (a/n: have you seen one of them?! *drools* they're BEAUTIFUL!)*  
Celeborn [sung]: Sometimes I'm lonely,  
Sometimes it's only, me and the shadows that fill my bed,  
Sometime's I'm fallin', deperately callin',  
Howlin' for Gal-al-aladriel.  
*Aragorn steps forward*  
Aragorn [sung]: Well, I might go find me a brand new road or  
Take my ol' horsy for a three-day ride,  
Might even get my a nice clean shave.  
*several more elves appear with various instruments*  
Elves [sung]: And it's a great day to be an Elf,  
I know my hair's still shinin' when I clothe myself,  
There's some bad trees in my neighbor's wood,  
But why can't tree be just this good?  
And it's a great day to be an Elf,  
I know my hair's still shinin' when I clothe myself,  
There's some bad trees in my neighbor's wood,  
But why can't tree be just this good?  
*all the elves except Elrond and Legolas (who was among the various elves) disappear*  
Sam: Mr. Strider, Mr. Elrond, sirs, that was very strange.  
*Elrond hands the mandolin to Sam*  
Elrond: You can have it if you never tell anyone about what just happened.  
*they all nod and Elrond disappears mysteriously*  
*Aragorn takes off the guitar and goes down the ladder of the flet humming the tune*  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Hehehehehehehehe! It's a great day to be an Elf! Um, yeah, please review and request. I might do the Beverly Hillbillies theme song next (mwehehe, Boromir with a banjo...)  
P.S. Ava De Longe--I'm very sorry, but I'm not familiar with that song and therefore I am unable to put that in this. Again, I'm very sorry. 


	24. Blue Face by Elrond and the Elves

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Elvis, "Blue Christmas", Elrond, Aragorn, or anything else. Just these messed up lyrics.  
Story: I was a lil hyper when I was watching the extended version of LotR:FotR when Aragorn said "He needs Elvish mediciene." I thought he'd said "He needs Elvis mediciene." Then I had to use the bathroom and I thought up part of this...  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
::After Frodo is stabbed and Aragorn is looking at him::  
Aragorn: He needs Elvis mediciene.  
Sam: Not Elvish?  
Aragorn: NO! Elvis!  
::fastforward to Rivendell, Elrond is healing Frodo Elvis-style; several elves appear behind him with instruments; they begin playing the tune to "Blue Christmas"::  
**to the tune of "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley**  
Elrond [sung Elvis-style]: You'll have a blue  
Elves [sung] (you have to have heard the Elves-version to get this): Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh!  
Elrond [sung Elvis-style]: Face if  
Elves [sung]: Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh!  
Elrond [sung Elvis-style]: I can't heal you  
Elves [sung]: Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh!  
Elrond [sung Elvis-style]: You'll be so cold  
Elves [sung]: Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh!  
Elrond [sung Elvis-style]: If my helain can't help you  
Elves [sung]: Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh!  
Elrond [sung Elvis-style]: Bloody wounds showing red,  
On a shirt made of white  
It won't help a bit  
If I can't help you.  
You'll have a blue face that's for certain;  
And when that coldness starts spreadin',  
You'll be turning all white,  
From the Nazgul's stab,,  
But you'll have a blue, blue, blue face.  
::when the Elvis mediciene fails, Elrond turns to normal, boring Elvish mediciene and looks very sad about it::  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Wow, that was a short song. But funny! Just imagine all those elves doing their lil "ooh-ooh ooh-ooh!" thing! *falls over laughing* how funny certain lines and Pepsi One can be... 


	25. The Ballad Of The One Ring by Faramir

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Earl Scruggs, the Earl, "The Ballad Of Jed Clampett", or anything else. Not even Faramir's Earl.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
::Many years after the Ring is destroyed, Faramir is sitting in front of a fire when a little boy runs up to him::  
Little Boy: Daddy, can you tell me about the ring of power?  
*Faramir nods and stands up; two Gondorian soldiers appear, one has a banjo and the other a guitar; Faramir magically gets an Earl (it's a kind of Gibson banjo, they're really beautiful)*  
**to the tune of "The Ballad Of Jed Clampett (The Beverly Hillbillies Theme)" by Flatt And Scruggs**  
Faramir [sung]: Come an' listen to my story 'bout an evil ring,  
Four poor lil hobbits had to take it away,  
Then one day the were strollin' to Bree,  
And they found this Strider guy.  
[spoken] Aragorn, that is,  
Ellessar, Nothern Ranger.  
[sung] Well, the next thing ya know they're all in Riv'dell.  
Elrond said, "Guys, get away from here!"  
Said, "Mount Doom is the place ya need to be."  
So they formed a Fellowship and went to Mordor.  
[spoken] Evil place, evil things.  
Gandorian Soldier With Guitar (GSWG) [spoken]: They went a lot of places!  
*interesting little muscial break*  
Faramir [spoken]: Well, it came time to split apart, but they would meet again,  
Boromir died and Sam and Frodo ran away and two guys got caught.  
But they all got back together in a locallity,  
And had a heapin' helpin' of my hospotality.  
[spoken] Gondor, that is. They destoryed it. Ended its reign.  
We all live peacful now, ya know?  
*the little boy looks at his father strangely; Eowyn walks in*  
Eowyn: You haven't been scaring our boy again, have you Faramir?  
Faramir (in thick Southern accent): Not really.  
*Eowyn groans*  
Eowyn: Not again!  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Well, that was certainly a challenge. Anyway, reuqest, review, ya know the drill. 


End file.
